I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
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why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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