he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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