who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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