I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
