Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
