ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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