only if we run a train.
done.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
