I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
