Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
