Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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