dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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