I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
