Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
