I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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