Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
