You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
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