I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
