WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
