im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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