I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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