I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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