Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
