Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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