One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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