I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize