The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
