so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
