I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
