Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
