did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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