i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
