Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
