I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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