You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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