Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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