dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize