I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
