I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
