yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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