Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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