I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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