i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
