Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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