You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love