There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time