i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon