i jhust puked up my retainher.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
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I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!