If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
