You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
