How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
