Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You smell like stripper and shame
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize