is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
