Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
