Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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