im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
