You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
