My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
