East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
