a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
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If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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