Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
where does the pee come out of this thing
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
