You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
