Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
