i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
