I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
