life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i out mim tonsoeep
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