Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its about making memories worth repressing
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
