real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
