Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
