i need an iv and a liver transplant
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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