You can't motorboat a personality
It was confusing and full of hummus
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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