do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
