i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
