I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
