Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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