I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We are two peas in an std pod
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
