guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize