Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
