so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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